Songs of Homecoming

Song of Ascent, the First


In my distress I cried...

Here I am,
O Lord,
barefaced, undisguised,
half a dozen people in one.

You see plainly
I sew no feeble fig leaf to cover
the divisive beings within me.

In my distress I cried..

Here I am:
I rage animal anger,
I swell in dark, fierce pride,
I lust for drunk pleasures,
I hate in my jealous heart and
I curse and lie with a foul bile that's
lodged deep within my belly.

And here I am again:
a monster crouched,
a shadow supplicating.
a child of darkness
who knows his place
belongs should be tucked away
in unknown corners,
invisible to all,
invisible to You.

And yet,
grotesque though I may be,
I still creep out with the
far-flung hope that You will be here;
do not reject me entirely.

For there is
this one last
part of me
O Lord,
that urges me to
Your presence.

One last
tender part
that now whispers
my guilt to You.

Salvage this part
Save me from who I am.
For I cannot escape
the well of myself.

My heart strains,
longs to speak,

My soul yearns,
longs to breathe.

I beg You,
Lord,
will You be my Lord?

Teach me your ascent.

Manna Issue 49: After God's Heart
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